JOURNAL

I spent almost an hour waxing not-quite-poetic on a topic I love - finding and making meaning.

I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Sensitively Magical podcast with Mili of Aletheia Coven this week.

You can listen to our conversation here and find the full show notes on Apple Podcasts.

Yes, I realize these are all outside my space - the refresh has been a slow process in a whirlwind year so far and still only two walls are painted. I planned to take my time, so I'm not too upset about the two desks ordered and returned, the never-ending decision of what to do with books and fabric I won't use but are still beautiful and usable. The late nights (at least it's only midnight right now. I have a lot of hours ahead of me tonight.)

Let’s gather together and mend in person.

I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Airdrops from Erica podcast this week.

You can listen to our conversation here and find the full show notes on Erica’s website.

Devotion is my word of the year. In my family, my friendships, my work, I aspire to focus on what’s most important so that unnecessary, habitual, self-inflicted urgency can fall away.

Did you know I was a professional painter at one point in my life? While Ella and I were painting our dining room over the holiday break, I casually mentioned my brief career as part of a painting crew in Detroit and surrounding areas. She was surprised that she didn't know, but not surprised that I was.

I wonder if it’s normal to turn fifty and wonder why nobody told you that it’s great? I love being fifty years old. I love surprising people when I tell them I’m fifty. I'm telling you now, in case a big birthday is looming, to find some friends who will tell you how wonderful it feels to have reached X age, and how much fun they're having.

I've been turning the concept of forgiveness over in my heart and mind pretty regularly throughout my life. It's probably because I am someone who makes a lot of mistakes while stubbornly walking around the world with a wide-open heart.

For the first time in a long time, I took a day off last week. Having been recently diagnosed with ADHD has me reevaluating my life in general, but mostly my habits. I love working, so my 7-day workweek never seemed like a problem, but thankfully I have children who like to spend time with me and help me see that some space in my life for relaxing (together) is necessary and enjoyable.

To say that I’m experiencing a full spectrum of emotions each day is the truth. It’s also simply what it is to be human.

This human-ness isn’t always pleasant and it’s messy. There are tears almost every day; whether from sadness, or the joy of connection, or deep gratitude for witnessing beauty.

I’m going to go ahead and accept it all.

Everybody’s ancestors had a sewing practice, whether it was making clothes, mending, creating bags to carry food, or creating useful linens to serve around the home. Sewing has always been a utilitarian skill. When we trace our ancestry back far enough in history, we learn that the very homes they lived in were handmade from hides and woven textiles. There's so much beauty in the practical.

I have always considered making my own things to be a valuable protest against unchecked consumerism. Not only does making require a bit of planning, thoughtfulness, and slowing down, but the very act of doing something consciously rather than succumbing to the ease of ‘click and ship’ helps me to be in choice, rather than living by default. Even if I do choose to buy something I could make, I know I've made a choice instead of living by a cultural default.

Last time I wrote about taking things slowly this summer. That was the intention. I feel like I took the pace of life more slowly than I usually do, but even I wouldn't call it slow.

While the summer may not have qualified as a slow summer, it was filled to the very edges with intention and connection. Sitting in this studio space of mine, sewing for my clients and working on pattern projects while my 14 year old makes clothes for herself has been a bit of a dream come true.

Building on the theme of practice; I believe anything can be a practice, a spell, a mindfulness exercise, a prayer. The difference between doing something and experiencing that same thing as a practice is the intention put into it. I love practicing sewing because I always learn something new (yes, me!) and I keep getting happier with the results the longer I practice What really turned my get-to-the-finish-line mentality around when it comes to sewing was really starting to do it for the process.

I'd really love to learn a balance of doing and telling so that I remember to invite you to all the delightful collaborations I've been working on. Remember when I said I wanted this to be the year of collaboration? Well, it is. I could not be happier about it.

We're hearing and reading this everywhere: s l o w d o w n

Earlier this year I talked about changing my outlook on washing dishes: from a chore to an act of devotion. That mindset has continued since, and I've even added more evening rituals to that one.

No matter how long you’ve known me, unless you’re a current client, you probably don’t know what I’m doing in any given moment as my work. It’s not because I’m hiding anything

During a period of so much forward thinking and all this self-reflection, I realized I need to make room in my physical space to create what’s next.

I’ve been twisted up in this false dichotomy for many years now, but since first my body and then the pandemic have forced me to slow down, this pair of options have come into sharp relief. I will always have big plans, but I’ve learned that deliberate steps still get me there...someday. I’m embracing slowing down, doing more by hand, and focusing on the process in every area of my life.

I had the pleasure of being a guest on the Successful Fashion Designer with Sew Heidi podcast this week.

You can listen to our conversation here and find the full show notes on the SFD’s website.

Another way I find joy is by actively looking for it. I've been paying attention over the past year to not only what I find satisfying when it's complete, but what I truly love while I'm doing it. I'm happy to report, I mostly only do what I want to do.