What has always been true about me?

I am sure now that what has always been true about me is that I have been aware that my art (whether it’s music, visual creations like painting or drawing, textile work, or the simple art of being sensitive to nature with animals, rocks, water and trees) is not from me, nor is it for me.

I’ve always known on some level that it comes through me - as a gift for others or even a gift to myself - and that it’s my responsibility to tend and nurture and practice so I can honor the little spark. I think it has led to a lot of misunderstandings (especially in my family of origin) with people who don’t see a different way of being in and of the world. I’ve always held a sense of awe when something beautiful comes through me, or delight when I’m in the presence of others, human or nonhuman, and expressing my joy and surprise about my experiences as a conduit, vessel, whatever it was, would be met with accusations of arrogance or pride as if the adults in my life couldn’t see I was amazed. So I learned to hide it. Because I couldn’t talk about it. Adults accused me of being prideful and kids my own age just thought I was weird (obviously they were right!)

As I wrote this I am remembering so many times I wanted to talk about what my hands, or voice, or words made, but they turned it into something about me and not the art.

Because of this I became an expert in reverse engineering…everything. I’m not especially clever or talented, but I am well practiced, diligent, sensitive, and I just think and see differently. I accept it now, and the special magic seems to be peeking out into my outside life again. ✨

This question was posed in a creative community a belong to, and it caught me by surprise. I invite you to contemplate what has always been true about you? I answered this as it relates to my art, but I think it’s a valuable question in many different arenas. Try it!